This is me having “The Talk” with my 22 month old girl and 4 year old boy. (Well, sort of.)
Mason: Mommy, Nana made Papa.
Mason: Nana made Papa.
Me: No honey, Nana did not “make” Papa. They are married. Papa is not Nana’s child.
Mason: Oh. Who did Nana make?
Me: Remember, Nana has four kids. Daddy, xxxx, xxxx and xxxx.
Mason: Oh. Brie-Brie will make a baby some day.
Me: Yes, Brie will probably have children some day. And you will too.
Mason: But Mommy, you told me that only girls can make people.
Me: Well, that is true, only girls can make babies. But some day if you meet someone you love and you get married, then the kids she makes will be your kids too. (How do you tactfully explain this to a 4 year old?)
Mason: No Mommy, I don’t want to make people.
Me: You don’t want to have kids?
Me: OK, well you don’t have to. You don’t want to get married?
Mason: Yes, I want to get married, but I don’t want to make people. I only want to make myself.
Me: You just want to be yourself?
Mason: No, I want to only MAKE myself. I want to make another MASON!
Me: Oh Lord.
Mason: (Laughs) I only like myself, not other people.
Me: Well, that sounds good to me. You making another Mason would be the best revenge.
Mason: Mommy, what is “revidge”?
Me: It’s what happens when you make another Mason and have to be responsible for him. (laughing)
Mason: Oh! (laughs) Yeah that will be hard.